The Skunk and the Blini

What a great title right? So I am on spring break this week which means that I am catching up on major amounts of TV. American Idol was on last night and it was time to send someone packing. How Kristy Lee Cook can go out and murder two classic Beatles' songs and survive the bottom three for three consecutivc weeks I will never know. But in her defense John Lennon and George Harrison (may they rest in peace) are probably rolling over in their graves not to mention McCartney who probably couldn't believe that Heather Mills was getting paid so people could hear the filth spewing from the contestants mouths that they called Beatles songs. I mean the Beatles were in my opinion THE greatest rock band ever. I am sure that many people in the world would disagree with that statement but you have to consider the fact that rock was in its infancy until the British Invasion and many of the so-called rock bands and garage bands that have come since probably would not have existed without the help of the Beatles. But as always, I digress. Cook's ability to survive could not have come at a more critical time because she ousted Amanda Overmeyer. It has amazed me that the skunk-haired, Harley riding, poor excuse for a Janis Joplin wannabe made it this far simply by screaming week after week. So I am glad she is gone. One) because she was terrrible (as are most constestants this year) and two) now Casey's blood pressure can go down during this weekly block of time.

In other news, Valerie had to "pack her knives and go." Rightly so. Having said that I can't believe she decided to make a blini for the Zoo Challenge. This challenge divided the chefs into teams where they were assigned an animal and could only make dishes from the food eaten by the animal. Pretty cool huh? So why in the world would you choose to make glorified pancakes which is my understanding of what blinis are. Russian pancakes served with caviar and all you have now is really, really expensive breakfast food that would probably be better if you went to an IHOP or Waffle House and just brought your own caviar. In addition, the chefs were catering this week which meant they had to prepare they food, get to the Zoo and serve the food rather than have it go straight from the kitchen to the table. So why would you make pancakes? Everyone knows that pancakes get soggy after like five minutes so why would you make this decision when you are trying to win $100,000 and other awesome stuff? I would love to just be able to download cooking tips and techniques (a la Matrix) into my head just to be able to experiment with food and come up with some of the dishes that these contestants do. But at the same time I don't get some of the choices these guys make. Oh and Nikki, you get a pass this week simply because if anyone still reads this blog, they have long since quit reading this post. However, if you can't bake mushrooms better than the little dookie balls you called mushrooms, then you won't be around long either.

Constitution: Buffet Style!

Ok,

So in probably the most controversial issues of the year and possibly the decade, the Supreme Court is taking up the issue of guns. On the one hand the District of Columbia is arguing for the regulation of handguns. Look at Columbine, the countless other school shootings, mall shootings, church shootings, Virginia Tech. It seems that people have lost their damn minds just shooting all types of innocent people just because they are too cowardly to grow up and face the world like an adult. Life sucks and it is not fair. GROW UP AND DEAL WITH IT! So you didn't get the job/grade you wanted, that doesn't give you the right to go out and shoot ten billion people just so you can be famous. And to this extent the District of Columbia's position makes sense. In theory. On the other hand is Mr Heller who is a 65 year old security guard who lives in a poor section of DC who wants to own a handgun for self defense. Unfortunately for him this is outlawed in DC which he claims is a violation of his second amendment right to bear arms. So here is my problem with the whole issue. Besides the fact that it is too easy for the criminal element and immature kids to obtain weapons think about the old saying "when guns are outlawed, only the outlaws will have guns". I personally don't own a gun but this controversy makes me think twice about getting one. I mean seriously. If the average, responsible citizen (with gun safes, trigger locks, etc.) cannot own a gun then what are we supposed to do when attacked? Wait for the police, file a report, and hope that the offender (if caught) doesn't get off on a technicality? But I digress. I am not trying to become right wing by any stretch of the imagination but I am disturbed by the arguments the lawyers for DC are making. They argue that the " court should avoid turning every phrase of the Second Amendment into a 'libertarian right.' A well-regulated militia isn't about everyone owning a gun willy-nilly. The Constitution does not create some kind of sacred, fundamental right to guns. If there's a right here at all, he says, it's at the "penumbra of the periphery" of the Constitution: in a shack behind the river where the other unenumerated rights huddle." When did the Constitution become a buffet? Last time I checked the Constitution was only the foundation of our country. I find it interesting that anytime some nutcase wants to make an outrageous claim, burn the flag, call our brave soldiers homosexuals, or insult common morality we just have to sit back and take it because it is protected by the "sanctity of the First Amendment (right to free speech)". However, when people want to own a gun that is protected by the Second Amendment, that belief is assaulted and those people are relegated to the "periphery". If the Constitution has become nothing more than a buffet to pick and choose from, then our nation is seriously in trouble.

De Toqueville, Part 1

So I wish that there was some way to genetically alter DNA so that I could have appreciated my education when I was receiving it. I, like most youth, do not truly understand what we are being taught until many years later and that is a shame. For instance, take my political science seminar. It was really boring sitting there talking about dead guys for 2.5 hours for a measley grade, but as I have gotten older the things I did learn have made me realize how incredibly talented/ genius these dead guys really were. Take Alexis de Tocqueville. He was a Frenchman who came to the United States to observe the fledgling democracy and his work can be seen in Democracy in America which is very highly regarded as one of the most important works of the 1800s. Now that I have a little time off for spring break I am going to make some observations/opinions about the current political climate/state of America. I am inspired because the husband of my wife's friend made an astute commentary on their blog about how this election is nothing more than American Idol. We don't really care who wins. We just want to be able to say that we voted for our favorite Idol at work the next day. Way to go Caleb. Brilliant. Consider the following two quotes from dT who said (over 150 years ago), "In the United States, the majority undertakes to supply a multitude of ready-made opinions for the use of individuals, who are thus relieved from the necessity of forming opinions of their own" and "I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America." This guy was genius. I mean think about it. We are told by the media what to watch, where to eat, how the war is going, who we should vote for blahblahblah. Everytime you turn around there is someone telling you what your opinion should be and why your opinion is wrong. Just turn on the TV. Commercials that never end, pundits, 24 hr infomercials who's sole purpose is to get you to buy into whatever they are selling. And the sad thing is that we as a nation buy into this. As we go thru the election season, take the time to research the candidates. Learn about them, see what they are all about and what their records are. Don't rely on political ads that tell us candidates "just are" better than their opponents or get sucked in by fear mongering commercials that tell us that "we are unsafe unless we elect a certain person". Our future depends on it.

Jeff

TOP CHEF!!!

Ok,

So I am probably the world's worst blogger EVER!!!! I mean, I write these articles that are HILARIOUS and then I don't write again for another month. Well, that is about to change! While I realize that many of you are probably bored or have even quit reading, I prefer to look at it like I am a drug dealer. I am giving you just enuf crack to keep you coming back!!!HAHAHAHA! Anyways, it is now time for the greatest time of the year.....the return of TOP CHEF! I mean Heidi is still ridiculously hot for a 30 plus year old supermodel of like 12 kids and Tim Gunn provides warm, grandfatherly advice that keeps you warm thru the winter and hoping that you don't have to hear " Your out! Auf Wiedersehen!", but the Top Chef is back! Siriano was hilarious but the heat is really getting turned up in the kitchen this year! If you are not watching then shame shame shame on you! I will admit that I was a little disappointed with the language this year. I mean every other word was edited out due to cussing but this show is AWESOME! Not only do they come up with the most insane challenges, these chefs come up with the most insane dishes. I literally want to try every single dish. Oh, and Padma isn't so unattractive either. But the main reason that I watch the show is the fact that this show is the best "reality show" on TV!. There is no who can seduce the most people (aka The Real World/ Road Rules crowd and you know who you are) or secret alliances! Tom Colichio is my DAWG! He keeps things real and the person that turns out the worst dish for that challenge is going home. Plain and simple. So you better bring your "A" game and fan cuz this season is gonna' get HOT! Wednesday Nights 10 PM EST! Be there! And in case you didn't watch last week, Nimma deserved to go home because she was not only waaaaaaaaaaay out of her league, she had the personality of Eeyore!

Chef Jeff Out!